


Magical Issue

by masquiat



Series: baaaah-loney [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Unplanned Pregnancy, crude narration, magical particles, sentient magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 10:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14376879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masquiat/pseuds/masquiat
Summary: Genetics is the least interesting hypothesis that explains magical progeny.orWhy witches and wizards should use barrier protection.





	Magical Issue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaronwyK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaronwyK/gifts).



> This is a very silly response to the idea that Muggle-borns must have magical ancestors. I thought, well, maybe magic is actually a particle flux. Wait! Maybe magic is a _sentient_ particle flux...
> 
> Apologies all.

alpha, beta, omicron and mu, a host of magical particles, are watching Hermione and Draco getting it on in the Malfoy matrimonial bed.

***

"They're going at it again! Woo hoo!" shouted alpha.

beta zipped around excitedly, too worked up to offer any commentary.

omicron and mu, who were just coasting to a stop after their expulsion from a particularly energetic lubrication charm, spun around to watch.

"Omg, omg, he's sliding it in!" alpha announced. 

"Look at her working it!" babbled beta, dribbling trails of energy.

"Beautiful counterpoint, first the finger then the hips, finger, hips, oh!" stuttered mu, enraptured by the sight. 

"Lightening charm, lightening charm. Who's on it? alpha?" omicron shouted.

alpha was too distracted. 

"Me, mee!" called beta, before disappearing.

As the pistoning motion on the bed sped up, alpha started pulsating in time with the wet snaps of Draco Malfoy's hips.

"Ooooh, oh! Where's the contraceptus, who's on contraceptus!?" shrieked mu from its position where, in a rictus of delight, it was holding the engorgio.

There was no answer.

"Ah ah aaaah!" called Hermione.

"Ung!" ejaculated Malfoy.

There was a pregnant pause punctuated by the sound of human panting. 

"Finite," said Hermione, breathlessly banishing the charms they'd been using.

The host came together again.

"So..." said beta. 

"That happened," said omicron.

They anxiously watched the witch for a few moments waiting for something to appear... and then they all groaned.

"Damn it," alpha sighed, "that's another nine months in utero. We have got to be more careful!" 

They all disappeared.


End file.
